The opportunity in facing cancer, especially being as young as I am, is that I get to face my mortality directly. There is no wriggling free when it gets hard. This is not an abstraction. This is the work. And it’s a gift.
Batting cancer is a two-front war, it’s physical and it’s mental. The physical dimension consists of the treatment regimen, interacting with doctors, making decisions. I’m fortunate that for now the plan of attack is straightforward and I’ve got a second opinion confirming it. So that feels great. The mental dimension is where I’m spending my downtime.
We talk often as a society about living standards and quality of life. If I had to choose a single variable to enhance the quality of my own life it would be the removal of fear (including self-doubt & limiting beliefs). For that reason I’m really taking my time to be with this process.
Within this mega equation there are variables within my control and many more that are not. Attitude, mindset and approach to this process are all within my control. Facing and conquering fear is within my control. The payoff I see is that if this treatment is successful and I come out the other side intact (and even if I don’t) I will have faced and conquered my fear. I’m sure I’d have gotten around to it at some point, probably decades down the line. But I’m convinced that doing this work sooner than later will make me a much better person. For me that means living with greater sense of purpose, intention and joy. That carries benefits to the people around me, my family, friends, colleagues, community.
My wise friend/coach David Lesser called me the other day and named my situation as getting catapulted into a higher sense of awareness. That rings true of the situation. There are two parts to this. The first is acclimating to a mental space which feels very different than a normal day-to-day existence. The second part is maintaining that standard over time once I’m on the other side. For now I’m focused on the former. Looking forward to the latter.