Let this shit be over.
I might have thought I’d be celebrating at this point. Nope. Been really tired the past few days and every day have woken up thinking I might be sick. Haven’t had anything resembling a workout (nothing more than a walk) in 2 weeks. Have felt like my immunity is down (tingling in my jaw, fatigue, starting to get a fever blister, overall weakness). I’m oscillating between mindfulness, staying present to the experience, and anxiety to push hard to the finish line and to get on with things. Pushing is bad in my current condition; stress and immunity travel in opposite directions. I need immunity. Maybe it’s the smoke and being cooped up too long, driving with a family to Tahoe, general life. But I’m ready for a change in conditions here. I’m ready to be strong. So – I take a deep breath and try to go the other way.
So one more planned round. I keep saying planned because who knows – tumor isn’t gone yet. I’ll meet with the oncologist on Tuesday to get a better sense of what’s next and how to think about contingencies, e.g., what if the tumor isn’t gone after then next CT scan? Do we tack on another round? Do we change the protocol? Something else?
More labs tomorrow. Then Chemo on Wed.