chemolog: day 135

Today is a big day: it’s my grandmother’s funeral, it’s the last day of school for the year for the kids, and I get my test results. If I were a superstitious person I don’t know if I would think this is a good or a bad thing. It’s a good thing I’m not superstitious. I have a call scheduled with my oncologist this morning to review the results. I want to think positive thoughts but I’m remaining pragmatic. I need to be prepared for either piece of news and remain mentally prepared. To be too positive going in would be a hard blow in the negative case – that is, if the cancer is still present. That’s all I have to say for now – trying to stay present and note all the thoughts coming and going.