Oncologist: Are you ok? Where are you? Ari: (panting) Sorry. I’m out of breath. I just ran up a hill. You’re calling 20 minutes late and I was getting really anxious – had to burn some energy… Oncologist: Well I have your PET results. Excellent news. The scan shows there’s no metabolic activity at this point.…Read More As if a dream
Back in SF! So was 10 days in Hawaii relaxing? Kind of. If you think it was sleeping in and pina coladas on the beach all day you’ve got the wrong idea. We definitely had lots of quality downtime with the kids, which really was the main point. Still, 10 days with 3 kids and…Read More Leaving Kauai; pattern interrupt; the scan
Bruised Every morning for the past month I’ve gotten out of bed feeling like I was beaten. My back takes a very long time to feel close to normal. I’m constantly stretching and twisting it waiting, hoping for some vertebrae to pop into position. Regardless what the cancer is doing (something, nothing) there is still…Read More To Kauai!
The scans Sorry, I left you all in a cliff hanger! My primary oncologist replied that I should sit tight and wait on the scans and not expedite things, that I would get all the radiation exposure without meaningful information if we did this earlier. So I’m waiting. The symptoms have basically stayed the same:…Read More Chemolog: day 196
Visiting colleagues & getting back to physical health I biked to SOMA the other day for the second time since diagnosis. It felt great to do my work commute, if only to convince myself for a few minutes that things are back to normal. Also it was good to see I could still do it!…Read More Getting healthy; more fear of progression; nightmares
I’m slated to get these scans done early march. That is, unless I ‘feel symptoms’. Simple, right? There were three symptoms specifically that I noted just before my diagnosis last year: blockage (constipation, due to the tumor’s location in bowel area), a specific kind of dull back pain due to the tumor pressing on nerves…Read More Symptoms?
The fear and anxiety come in waves. Most of the time I’ll feel fine. Them BAM!, that cold rush of reality overcomes me… I have cancer! And I can tell my mind wants to go in that direction, to charge with that energy. It’s like a strong-willed child pulling a feeble adult towards the shiny thing. A…Read More Creating pause
I’ve now got 4 doctors aligned on the ‘watchful waiting‘ strategy. I’m considering that a mini triumph given that 3 doctors were in agreement to jump immediately into intense chemo just a few weeks ago before the second biopsy results came in. I should right now be in the midst of treatment. So that leaves…Read More Calm before the storm
Instructions from somewhere The other night I looked at my kids as I put them to bed. I really saw them. It was one of those moments, all too rare, where the din of thought quiets just enough for truth to present. As if cleaning a dirty window. I looked on Lua, tucked into her “cornucopia”…Read More The executor of instructions
Over the weekend I attended a conference hosted by the Lymphoma & Leukemia Society. Turns out my UCSF doctor was one of the speakers. So not only was I only able to learn a fair deal about Follicular Lymphoma but I was able to accost find him afterwards and speak about the updated diagnosis. His…Read More Lymphoma society conference; a holding pattern